her. Rather, Julia used the principle of thoughts -> feelings -> behaviours as a way of viewing Sandra's actions through Sandra's eyes. Doing so meant that Julia no longer needed to take Sandra's behaviour personally. As we worked together over the next few months, Julia could feel herself developing compassion toward Sandra.
Authentic happiness comes from within. It develops out of the inner contentment and calm that you feel when you connect with your inner self. Think of your inner self as your spirit - your life force. Authentic happiness doesn't leave you simply because you had a fight with a loved one, your best friend moved across the country, or your car repair bill is several thousand dollars. Each of these circumstances may carry with it a number of other thoughts and feelings, but these events don't diminish the inner happiness you experience at your core. When you breathe, focus inwardly, and quiet your busy mind, you once again connect with the inner calm that has always been there.
Searching for happiness outside yourself, becomes a never-ending quest: material goods, an expensive car, a new haircut or wardrobe, even a new relationship give fleeting happiness. If you pay close attention, the feelings of excitement, power, confidence, and satisfaction that these things can bring are all momentary. In no time, the search for happiness begins yet again since the initial exhilaration you felt has mysteriously vanished.
When you've learned how to access your inner happiness, material possessions, love relationships, and vacations are all still part of your life - the difference is that you no longer rely on them for all your happiness and self-worth.