Monday, October 4th, 2010...4:36 pm

REAL CHANGE

As much as someone may want assistance, guidance, insight, help… they can only receive such assistance if they are willing to look at their self. 

Sometimes, clients come to a therapy session not because they are truly ready to make any lasting changes.  They may want a third person’s point of view, they may want someone to tell them what to do, or even out of curiosity – to see and hear what this person has to say about specific matters of their life.

When therapy isn’t giving someone what they think they need (I am speaking only of myself as a therapist as I can’t possibly speak for others and how they might approach their work – and it would be unfair of me to do so), is it perhaps because they aren’t really ready to receive that they are being given? 

Is it possible that if you aren’t willing to let go of your secrets; of your seemingly harmless lies to yourself and others about what you can justify to be ‘correct’ or ‘right’; or of your need to be right at all costs…then perhaps therapy will have limited benefit.  For you see….. to make any kind of significant change, you need to be willing to look at yourself – your ‘whole’ self. 

You need to be willing to honour the fact that there are things that are not quite right in order for you to be here – in this place of feeling “less than happy” with yourself. 

To move forward – to really make any changes however big or small they are – you must absolutely trust in the process:

(1) Be absolutely truthful – with yourself first – in admitting what you are doing (thinking, feeling) and what you want to be doing (thinking, feeling) instead. 

(2) Be willing to work on the solution.  Recognize that it isn’t always one straight line in front of you – and that that’s ok.  The important thing is that you get back on track the moment that you become derailed and keep moving – on a path that you believe to be right and best for you (knowing that your resolve and strength will become stronger as you move along that path).   

And then……Repeat steps one and two.  Again and again.  The journey becomes much clearer and “in sight” as you do so – and the path becomes the metaphor for many wonderful changes you will create in your future.

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