Spiritual growth is what happens as we begin to examine our ‘self’ by going within…often in quiet contemplation or meditation … and realizing that we are much more than the physical being that we see. 

Just as winter may hold a space in our lives for the ‘hibernation’ of inner observance and examination; the season of spring offers an impetus to move forward; to open further to the wonders of what we have been discovering; to reveal what we have been ‘working on’ and to seek much more.

Photo by: Colleen Pope The new 'Meditation' steps at The Briars Resort and Spa; the location of our SPRING RETREAT: Awaken Your Spiritual Self (April 21 & 22, 2012)

This past weekend I had the ultimate “gift” of facilitating a spiritual retreat: something that I felt strongly ‘called’ to do in January (a time when I typically go deep within; listening to the inner wisdom of my soul guiding me, while simultaneously asking for what ‘next steps’ are on my path).  Spiritual growth – like anything we embark upon in life – only happens as we allow ourselves to step on the path; to move in a direction; to have faith that what we “do” will be the ‘right’ thing.

I watched with true appreciation as these remarkable  people (who chose to follow their inner truth; their inner knowing that this retreat would in some way be exactly ‘right’ for them at this time) allowed their inner beauty to open and be revealed; trusting in my gentle direction and in the vast perfection of their unique and personal meditation experience. 

In the sacred space that we created, I was also reminded of the perfection of sharing.  When we open to share our inner self; whether it be a private thought; a past experience; a fond memory; a story of humour - we learn; and in learning from one another we move ahead on our path with the fruit of knowledge; the gift of insight and life experience that we may not otherwise have known.

This too is the beauty of spiritual growth; to be on a path regardless of where along the path you are on your journey; and to ever so often – reach over and share, give, teach, connect with another who is on their path.  This both validates your inner work and simultaneously reminds you that you are not alone; that spiritual journeys are occurring for others around us and that they are becoming a more prevalent choice in the experience of life.  For the true purpose of life is to discover our nature as beings of spirit … of energy … of divine love.

For anyone who is contemplating a spiritual journey; I hope you will trust in the divine timing of your ‘inner calling’ and let your heart open and follow whatever is the inspiration for your inner work.  You will ultimately become happier as a state of being, grounded and centered; and feel a greater sense of perfection and joy in life …as you journey within; discovering and knowing yourself better; both as a physical being and a being of spirit.

For those of you who have already begun a spiritual path…my hope is that it remains an important part of your life.  Go within regularly and notice where your meditations take you; feel nourished and supported as you rely and trust in your ‘inner truth’ to provide you with ‘right’ direction; and allow yourself to feel the immense vastness of your infinite potential – for spiritual growth reminds us that anything and everything is possible.

Namaste!

Earth Hour is a worldwide event that is organized by the World Wide Fund for Nature (WWF)* and is held on the last Saturday of March annually, encouraging households and businesses to turn off their non-essential lights for one hour to raise awareness about the need to take action on climate change.

BUT IT’S MUCH MORE THAN THAT!

Let Earth Hour be a reminder of your commitment to:

conserve

recycle

REUSE

refrain from buying STUFF you really don’t need and will end up in landfill

plant trees and flowers

consider what you are pouring down the drain or spraying into the air

learn how things are made so you can make wise consumer choices

know what you are ingesting

go and see where your garbage goes…..

What will you do to take action; to contribute?

Earth hour is a global initiative.  Know that you can effect positive change in the planet -in your lifetime.

Earth Hour 2012 Official Video

What’s Your Challenge?? 

Consider your own challenge to keep the planet healthy; to live in respect and reverence of the planet; to help the earth nourish itself – and to make it a better place because of your choices and awareness.

Namaste!

*World Wildlife Fund is a nonprofit organization dedicated to environmental conservation through science.  http://www.worldwildlife.org/sites/earthhour/index.html

As human beings, we have a fundamental and inherent need to experience love.  Whether it manifests itself as an unconscious desire to have others like and accept us (and so our behaviour becomes motivated by this need); or an deliberate drive to experience love through our relationships, the truth is….we all seek love.

Never before in the history of the universe have we recognized this universal truth – that love originates within us.  It is in experiencing love as something that we create from within … that we can feel LOVE.  The action of being love (sharing love with others) is another form of the expression of LOVE.  Third and finally, we have the ability to feel the energy of love that comes to us from another.  

Even if we do not feel love for ourself , or deserving of others’ love; we are able to both experience love and express it openly with others.  This is what makes our nature as loving beings so incredible.

We are awakening to the realization that we are capable of expressing love because LOVE is our inherent nature.

In fact, a UNIVERSAL PURPOSE of life is to be unconditionally loving.

In LOVE Relationships:

LOVE is both experienced as a feeling and a state of being.  We experience our self in a love relationship and feel a sense of validation; inspiration; elation; and purpose.  Historically, social and cultural conditioning teaches us that we are special and important when we have “found” love (simultaneously making it less desirable and fulfilling to be single).  Society still perpetuates the idea that a couple relationship is one of the ultimate goals in life, since it offers validation that we are indeed lovable. 

In actuality, we are born worthy of love.  If we at some point later in life we believe anything else it is because we have been “taught” that we are somehow “not good enough” (unfortunately, this is one of the most common ‘negative’ core beliefs humans possess). 

If our love relationship should come to an end; in most situations, rather than take a breath, step back, reflect on what we’ve learned, rediscover our SELF and seek to work through old issues and fears – we immediately begin looking for a new person to love us.

In this perpetuating cycle, we fail to discover (and also model for our children) the notion that our need to be loved drives our desire to: be in a relationship; our life choices, and even aspects of our character.

Despite the incorrect messages that bombard us to seek love in relationships with others; consider the truth of love’s origin.

“We are both beings of love and at the same time – seekers of love.”

It is in being LOVE that we are an incredible magnet, drawing others to us and building a framework of beautiful relationships, new friendships and a life mate.  We have been taught to seek love without learning how to be it first.  We have been given the wrong messaging that falling in love will ‘complete’ us. 

“Falling” in love is inevitable.  As soon as you allow your natural tendency as love to shine through; like a lighthouse beacon - you make it easily possible for others to find the beauty and grace within you.

In your experience of love in its purest form, there is nothing that you require; nothing that you need in return; nor expect from another.  Love in this form is unconditional in its giving.  This is the type of love we give and receive most easiest when we are being our highest self; our Spirit.

We understand Spirit best in the context of energy – universal consciousness - infinite divine wisdom and of course ’God’.  To be god-like is to be our inherent blissful nature uninhibited by the mind’s ego.  To experience our Self in this divine state we exude love easily.  Not only can we easily be loving with others but our divine nature fills us with love.

When we are unconditional in our delivery and giving of love; it is because we are not dependent on anyone to love us in order to feel worthy, validated, purposeful. 

The greatest and most worldly blessing any human can realize is their own divine potential – and their infinite nature of being love.

There are a few ways in which we can cultivate a state of unconditional love much more of the time.  We can remain present to life and live from a place of present moment awareness (this allows us to live from our heart rather than from our critical mind).

Pursuing our innate (god-given) talents and gifts fulfills us; and this is a heart chakra quality.  When we are simply doing whatever we most love (which is also by the way what we are already talented in), there is no differentiation between Self and doing.  We become the very gift that we are blessed with being able to give.  To share this talent with others only reinforces the perfect nature of our Self.

We can also begin a spiritual practice – a journey into the Self through the experience of our self as oneness with a divine universal consciousness.  This can be contemplated within the context of exploring Self in therapy, through a guided or self-directed spiritual practice, or with a mentor or spiritual teacher.  Remember that any spiritual practice if done with authenticity will promote inner work and a discovery of who our Self is.

Those who have convinced themselves that they are worthy only as they have someone to love them; will forever be chasing the idea of love and the fairy tale image that their mind reinforces. 

This idea of finding love to feel loved can never be completely fulfilling because each one of us needs to ultimately love who we are first.  Love originates in our heart.

Consider experiencing yourself and your feeling of love here; in the center of your chest.  Expand this awareness by breathing with inward intention.  As you practice expanding your feelings of love from within it becomes second nature.  You feel the experience of love first within and as it expands and “fills” you – it becomes easy to share it with others.  This is you being love. 

Namaste! 

It is no surprise International Women’s Day falls on my Father’s birthday.  He has raised me to be my own advocate, to stand proud of my abilities and accomplishments, to seek any goal that I may choose, and to see myself as capable and equal to all of humanity.

We might choose to be reminded of any or all of the injustices that continue to exist in the world today for women.  Or we may choose to notice that inequality exists first and foremost in our mind.  We may be taught to believe that we are not good enough, not worthy, unlovable…and yet these are not gender specific beliefs. 

All of humanity struggles with issues of self-worth, confidence, and a sense of personal power that comes from trusting in their abilities and knowing their self.

Inequality exists only as you believe it exists. 

If you see yourself as an equal to others, you will behave as such… you will see the opportunities and possibilities that exist for you even if you aren’t always sure how to reach them without seeking help.

International Women’s Day might be a reminder to nurture the talent and esteem of all young girls – and especially those who don’t have strong role models in one or both parents …so that these future women might learn to experience their world as a place where they can explore, live freely, make choices that are right for them (especially when these choices do not reflect the majority of previous generations in their particular culture or religion), and to express their free will as an inherent right.

Today we might acknowledge the path of women…but we also serve our planet by embracing the path of humanity; and for remembering all of the ways in which we are empowered to help all others to live free and with love.

Namaste!

The idea of deliberate f o c u s for this new month suggests not simply an ability to bring attention to something, rather a deliberate calling to have clarity – to be clear about what it is that you want – and to keep this focus clear and precise as you manifest it.

What gives us clarity?

Life and our choices become far less confusing when we decide based on examining what it is that we really want.  To remain authentic to the answer, you have to let your heart respond.

As a child, we base most of our decisions on an innate desire.  We like ponies or model airplanes and we’re not inhibited to say so.  We can ask for a trip to the stables and to learn about horses because that is our honest desire.  It comes not from analyzing the many options we may have, but simply feeling / knowing it in our heart.

It becomes tricky to make these simple decisions years later when we have already made so many life decisions based on an analytical process …and at times, driven by fears rather than our dreams.  Often the biggest life decisions are made not by listening to what our heart yearns for, but rather on a process of deliberation and “rational” thinking.  Sometimes our desires are not meant to be rational…that is, we can’t always explain why we are drawn to woodworking, being in nature, or experimenting with recipes in the kitchen.  Yet we simply know that doing what we love most is somehow our calling.

The idea of focused choice reminds us to choose our destiny.  Without a need to explain or justify your heartfelt decision, be willing to make choices during this month of March and always…based on what it is that you really want.

The next step is in manifesting…bringing an idea into the physical world (the world of form).

You bring something new into your life by seeing it first in your mind.  Our minds work best using mental pictures.  Our ability to ‘focus’ with clarity and intention on what we desire is a conscious way of manifesting.

To manifest is to use the ability of the mind to hold focus on the object of your desire; seeing it in the physical world – even when it is not yet ‘here’.

Often we doubt something because we cannot see it.  To manifest something is to remain intently focused on it with a heartfelt desire and a belief that it is possible.

FOCUS gives us direction in life.  With focus we can move toward a goal (and a purpose) and feel confident that our direction will provide us with the right outcome.  Just remember that your focus needs to be on what will inspire and excite you MOST.  Anything less than that will make it difficult for you to feel excited about manifesting.  Without focus we continue along on any path that is presented to us…   

Namaste!

We are all divinely guided.

We all have the capacity for greatness: of being greatness as our true nature as beings of spirit and of love.

Whether or not you believe in a higher consciousness (something we typically refer to as god): receiving divine guidance simply means that you are able to exist outside of the racing, ‘anxiety-driven’ thoughts in your mind and simply experience life – “be in it with full presence”.

When you begin to slow the incessant thoughts that fill most of your waking moments, you start to notice the gaps….the small spaces of quiet in between.  As you bring attention to those gaps they expand…even a little, offering a quiet ‘nothingness’ … and the experience of pure being.

At first, you may experience a state of being by accident, a longer moment of quiet in Shavasana at the end of a yoga class, a moment or two of QUIET between your thoughts as you walk along a snow covered path in the forest, or a moment of pure joy where you realize you were simply existing in the present moment.  Each and all of these are what you might experience -heightening your awareness of the inner quiet that is possible.

Meditation is one example of a formal practice in ‘quieting the mind’.  The objective is to experience the present moment, usually by using a focal point such as your breath, in order to maintain your attention.  Once you develop a feel for what being present is truly about, you can intentionally bring your awareness into the moment at any time knowing that to do so simply requires you decision and perhaps a deliberate “letting go” of any and all thoughts that may be in the way.

Perhaps you then consider integrating a regular practice: of prayer, meditation, or guided contemplation whereby you quietly observe your self in silence – simply being - giving way to your inner knowing – the version of your highest self – that quietly, yet faithfully begins to surface from its place in your unconscious mind (which typically you don’t have access to in your waking busy moments).  This inner knowing gives you “right direction” for your life.  It exists from within you as a felt sense, an intuitive feeling, or sometimes as an inner voice.  Your intuitive or higher self - this divine nature that is both within you and in all living things becomes noticeable in your conscious mind only after you have turned down the volume of your conscious mind (and all of the internal self-dialogue noise) long enough to feel and hear from within.

This is the sacred dwelling place of your inner wisdom – your divine guidance.

If you continue exploring, your intuitive nature will direct you to a spiritual path.  This is because your divine guidance is the pure energy of the universal consciousness and not of form.  Pursuing a spiritual path, you become mindful of the higher values of love, truth, and your connection to this infinite universal intelligence. 

You and every other human being has the potential (the free will) to choose an existence that supersedes the everyday aspects of life that we have been conditioned to accept with limits.  The more you actively seek out your highest self as that part of you that is also part of the infinite universal consciousness, the greater confidence you have in your ability to be divinely guided; to know what is inherently best and right for your life, and to trust in your path using your god-given talents to contribute positively in the world.  On a separate and related level, your intuitive nature inspires you to pursue your life seeking the most compassionate gifts of spirit: love, kindness, joy, faith, trust, compassion, and truth.

The path of love and healing begins with you.  From the mysteries (divine blessings) that you cultivate in walking a path of divine goodness, your openness to learning self-improvement, higher integrity, and loving self-care, culminates in living a life you are deeply proud of.

Remaining ‘open’ to your spiritual journey, you examine what comes into your life with curiousity rather than condemnation.  You can observe moments of irrational outbursts or vulnerable fear and be grateful for an opportunity to learn from these rather than feel defeated by them.  You can ask in moments of quiet contemplation or prayer for the ‘right’ path, for strength to live in ‘right’ ways, for the courage to make ‘right’ choices and then follow and trust what you receive.  Sometimes you will experience your divine guidance directly and other times you will receive messages in the form of signs, symbols or words “randomly” spoken to you through others.  These are all moments of divine guidance being present in your life.

As humans with free will we all have the ability to choose.  Choose a path of goodness, of right moral order, or choose to hide; deceive yourself and others, deny and condemn.  Each of us is capable of any action; we always get to choose.  Consciously or unconsciously we choose everything.

And the wondrous part of all of this is that we have the ability to continue seeking more, evolving, and becoming a greater version of ourselves…. for as long as we choose to do so.

Be open to the idea of a universal intelligence that is both responsible for manifesting what we know as our physical world as well as the infinite consciousness that is a part of everything.

This universal God force or consciousness is what reminds us of our infinite potential to be the very best version we can possibly imagine for our self.  All of the fears, insecurities, wounds, and misperceptions that we experience in our life as physical beings can be overcome by stepping out of our ego-driven self and instead bringing conscious attention to our quality as infinite beings of spirit (energy).

Divine guidance while on this journey involves a contemplation of our nature as good and a freedom for living with joy and in prosperity.

This month, open yourself up to the divine guidance that already exists in your life.  Seek answers, knowledge, information, as well as the courage and strength to move toward what changes you seek: both in yourself but as a being of love.  See your own path as infinite and divine and in quiet moments of spirit, ask for help; ask to be divinely guided as part of what will help you realize your biggest ideals.

Namaste!

There is an element of love in us all that… when we bring this freely into our conscious state we become it.  We exude love by the nature of our kind actions and generous spirit.  Love is contagious.  It frees us to be our true self and to experience the true nature of others as perfect beings as well.

I recently witnessed a magical day…I witnessed a pure transformation of LOVE.

Love doesn’t occur by wishing or hoping but rather by BEING.  When you can embrace a special day in your life and make the intentional choice to enJOY, to experience thes present moment, to have ‘fun’, what you are ascribing to is your natural state of being love.

A wedding day is special for many reasons, but what I observed at my Sister’s wedding was the confidence of choice both her and my Brother-in-law felt for one another; the confidence that comes from a well established and lengthy love relationship; as well as the confidence in knowing with certainty that they have chosen the right person to share their life with – even as that person continues to change and evolve.

The wedding day was not so much an acknowledgment of their commitment; for they have thirteen years of commitment in place – the day was a celebration of their love of one another, and for their closest and dearest friends and family members.

The transformation I witnessed was in the couples’ confident expression of LOVE.  They were truly celebrating their love of one another, and their LOVE of everyone in attendance.  The freedom and confidence to love freely and openly is what I know we all witnessed.  In being witness to this, each of us also experienced the confidence to freely love one another: new friends and friends of our past.

To experience one another as we are in the present moment also frees us to be in relationship with who we are today knowing that this is the most honest example of who each of us is.

To witness and feel pure JOY and the love of being your true self is something that is always replicable.  For you see, love does not only reveal itself in big ways in the special moments of our lives; LOVE in its purest form experienced each and any moment, makes that moment and those whom you share that moment with … special.  It is is being LOVE that we become Divine spirit in action.

Namaste!

…..and Congrats Cat & Troy!

The idea of ROMANCE as a focus for the first month of this new year may seem unusual, and yet as I quietly contemplate the focus for each of these next twelve months, ROMANCE seems ideally just the right focus to bring to one’s life.

January is an exciting month for many reasons: the anticipation of a fresh start; the possibility of what this new year holds; the idea of manifesting and receiving with gratitude your deepest desires…. all mark for important discoveries, experiences, and HOPE.

The idea of romance is in cultivating love.

A focus on Romance this month reminds us of the need for displays of our love to one another. I t may be a gesture of thoughtfulness, affection, a note or card expressing words and feelings, or a simple return to focus on feeling the LOVE in our relationship.

Romance also nurtures our understanding of what a love relationship symbolizes and expresses.  To love someone romantically leaves us open to divulging our deepest vulnerabilities and truths. We may not entirely accept or love our self and yet we are trusting (and perhaps hopeful) that another person will accept and love us as we are. 

The teachings of a love relationship last a lifetime.

Each person we love will help us see and discover more of ourself in a way that cannot be hidden. We will be constantly tested to grow and take risks and to become autonomous in our development of self since our love relationship can be all consuming if we allow it. 

Romance is how we cultivate our love with our partner.  To be romantic and express our feelings of love takes courage, especially if we choose to do so in moments of tension or conflict.

Romance is the fire that keeps the active nature of our love alive.  It is an important ingredient for sustaining love and the connection of intimacy between two people.

Romance and the idea of being respectful and loving to our partner is what nurtures and deepens our commitment and our feeling of love toward another.  For when we love strongly and without limits or conditions, our love becomes ever so strong and resilient.  The energy of love at times is palpitable and can overwhelm us with emotion.  This is the energy of love that is often shown through gestures of romance.

Romance also reminds us of our need to love others. We may see a couple walking along the beach holding hands and looking ‘in love’ and be moved by the beauty of love in relationship.

To express love through romance is to acknowledge our life choices in a mate and the ever so perfect nature of life that allows us to feel love through acts of romance.

For January, take a break from setting intentions and visualizing what you want to manifest and return to the ever growing nature of romantic love. Find ways to express romance in your life regardless of whether you are single or in a love relationship. Let romance find a way back into your heart and feel the grace of love open you to the possibilities of what that may bring.

Namaste and blessings for countless expressions of romance in your life this January!

In November, my suggestion for an inward focus was BALANCE.

Consider how balance comes to play in your life at this moment.

What insights or discoveries do you make when you keep BALANCE in mind during your day?

Has your definition and appreciation of balance changed to include a gentler, more loving way of living life?

I am a first born.  The focus in my family of origin was on achievement, success, and doing your best.  Rewards were given as a direct outcome of performance.  My early tendencies were less about honoring balance and more about an ‘all or nothing’ way of looking at life; the ’all’ approach being my predominant operating mode.

November’s focus of balance brought to light for me one very valuable learning regarding my need to ’complete’ and ‘finish’ as a way of measuring performance and achievement…and a delightful reminder of the process; the journey; the experiences that occur in our life one moment at a time.

As much as we all need to feel the satisfaction of concluding projects and tasks; it’s also important to remember that our lives are a series of beginning and ending points all within a journey.  In fact, the only real ending of this lifetime occurs when we run out of clock time – at death.

Rewriting some of your own beliefs around balance may bring awareness to the fact that each moment of your journey is special and breathtaking.  Rather than simply focus on what achievements you accomplish, revel in the experience and purpose of each moment; the ending points of that experience simply signify that you are ready for the next moment of learning.

Each day we have the potential to affect others with positive energy; love, kindness, care, and compassion.  We can, in a single moment lose sight of all of the potential of our smaller moments in pursuit of something we define as ‘bigger’.  In fact, it’s the accumulation of each single moment …and of our thoughtful actions, and compelling emotions that we are moved to live life fully.  What defines us is how we live each moment.

We are blessed with a lifetime of small moments in which to shape, impact and formulate what becomes our life’s greatest work.

Consider taking a moment to reflect on the new meaning of  b a l a n c e  in your life.  Consider what balance could mean to how you live going forward.  Making each moment significant and meaningful in the whole context of your life is the balance of enjoying and living the ‘now’ even as you have plans for future moments.

Remember, you don’t get to “relive” past moments.  You can ‘redo’ past moments but you never get back a moment that has passed.  It’s important to consider each moment that is right in front of you as valuable and with potential for creating something special.  The balance lies in appreciating each moment without skipping ahead too far and missing out on what is right in front of you.

…and so please continue to contemplate and celebrate B A L A N C E  in your life.

In this last month of 2011, I invite you to contemplate DIVINE GUIDANCE.

What does it mean to be divinely guided?

From where do you receive divine guidance?

Think of Divine guidance as the graceful path we are on.  Sometimes we don’t realize how we got here; our innate talents, learned skills, and knowledge always prepares us for what lies ahead; even when we don’t know what is next.

Divine guidance reminds us that there is always purpose for our life and a perfect path that we have the free will to choose.  When we move off this path; when we are not living our life with honesty, truth and love – we feel disjointed, lost, and as if something important is missing.  Disconnected from divine guidance, we lose touch with the gentle knowing  - the inner felt instinct that helps us make right choices.  Off of our ‘right’ path, things are more difficult, challenging, and frustrating.

During this month what can you do to allow for greater inward guidance? 

What can you begin to put in place right now that will guide you to your inner happiness? 

Divine guidance is the inner perfection that always offers us a ‘right’ path.  It is felt most clearly as a heart driven experience: that is, we feel it in our heart centre rather than something we think about or analyze.  Divine guidance calls us to do something, be something, make a certain change to who we are or how we think; it is a physical change contemplated in the mind but felt in the heart as a ‘right’ step forward.

Returning full circle back to the idea of balance… you can lose yourself in being willing to act on all of the things you believe to be important, forgetting about your need to be still; to contemplate where you want to be, who you want to become; where you are headed.  Divine guidance offers us much to contemplate in order to act with resolve and full appreciation of each moment.  Knowing yourself well comes from knowing what it means to have a ‘life serving’ direction.  Divine guidance is the gentle urging; the inner knowing that comes from our spirit – the divine quality of our nature that is the same as that of the universal consciousness; what we call the divine nature of god.

How do you receive divine guidance?

How do you know what it looks like?  Can you trust it to be right?

Divine guidance is our inner communication with the divine energy that is in all things).  It is your awareness – your inner awakening to this universal consciousness that reminds you that divine guidance has always been with you.  As part of your inherent nature, divine guidance is always accessible should you go within yourself to access it.

Often it is easiest to know it by becoming quiet; listening within, asking specific questions; hearing your inner self – your spirit – speak to you.  This is your unconscious (mind); the part of you that is one with the Divine.  This is your inherent wisdom; your truth…. guiding you….perfectly…to be your highest potential.

Divine guidance is also a faith; an inward reflection of your life that awakens you to believing in something more.  When you are divinely guided you allow your highest self a place in your everyday life.

Keep in mind, divine guidance can also help you look ahead to January and living with …..right FOCUS.

Namaste everyone!

PEACE and good will to all!

There are important reasons for knowing how to generate love from within. 

When you learn the process for loving SELF, you no longer require or depend on others to love you.  (It is wonderful that you feel loved by others, but you no longer live in search of someone to love you).  You also learn that love originates from within – that you have the capability of feeling loved simply by feeling love as it already exists within you.

When we know by our personal experience – that we can be loving – that we can be love – we are moved to share love easily.

Using the analogy of an apple tree; it simply knows how to bear fruit.  It readily produces ripe apples as a function of its ability to do so.  (Yes, the apple tree requires the right conditions of sunlight, soil and the concept of clock time in order for fruit to grow and ripen.) 

The same may be said about L O V E. 

We have the innate ability to create love from within our hearts (our heart region is the location we feel our experiences of love originate – manifest – before we experience the various sensations we associate with LOVE throughout our entire body).  As human beings, love as a feeling – an emotional reaction – is created.

It begins with a thought (conscious or unconscious) – or image – (sometimes recalling a memory is a visual path to creating love in this present moment).  To create LOVE (and to be love), we intentionally conjure up loving feelings that easily – instinctively -flow out of us.  As beings of energy, love is the energetic quality resulting from specific and precise neurons elicited by the chemical reactions of waves of (thought) energy. 

Love is both a human experience and an experience of energy simultaneously.

There are specific and deliberate techniques that I teach clients for opening their heart chakra, for energetically growing – manifesting – the quality of love from within.  This reveals a tangible sense of how love originate from us – whether through our conscious, intentional creation of it, or simply our awareness that it is there – and to focus attention on it, giving it expression – life.

If we were to study the ancient energy systems of the human body discovered some 5000 years ago ; we would see that our heart centre – our heart chakra – does what it is purposefully designed to do; express the quality of love that we feel physically in our body.  To activate the energy of our heart chakra is a subtle and original way to feel the quality of love within us.  This can be done using visual techniques; or through thought intention.

LOVE is our inherent nature.

To live as a human being in this physical world simply means that we have the graceful gift of experiencing and expressing love in a physical way: spoken words, touch, gestures of kind action, and outward demonstrations.

To know that you are capable of being LOVE, of evoking it from within you means that you can consciously and freely give it.  

Knowing your capacity for being love helps change the way you might look at our relationships (perhaps no longer demanding or expecting to receive love, but being responsible for giving it).  Trust that whenever you are loving in thought and action it automatically comes back to you – either in reciprocation immediately, or in later moments. 

Love as energy grows, expands contagiously.  It is infinite and it it is endless in its capabilities.

If you should decide that one of your new objectives is to give love freely, to be more intentional in your practice of being love, notice what magical, miraculous moments you begin to create (in your own life, but also in your relationships with others).  Begin to live your life with the daily intentions of being loving and of feeling love grow first within you. 

Love is: the most powerful thing.

Namaste!

ONENESS can exist in many forms in your life.

When you feel at ONE with yourself, you likely feel empowered, balanced, ‘in control’ and self-aware.  These positive feelings are the direct result of being honest and authentic with yourself and others; and in behaving in a manner that is congruent with your values and beliefs.

Fundamentally, the idea of oneness urges you to be your best self by being REAL and holding to your highest integrity at all times!

When you compartmentalize the various aspects of your self, you begin to feel false, fake, and ingenuine.  This is because when you show others the part of you that you want them to see while being something different with others, or in your own private moments; you actually become disconnected and divided from your SELF.

It’s like being on your best behaviour some of the time, while hiding the parts of you that you don’t particularly like.  When you do this, you actually never really get to work on your inner growth because you are too busy pretending you are someone you are not.  In fact, the fascade you have created tends to fall away in moments of high stress, mental and physical fatigue, or if you let your guard down.  Since your core beliefs are already a well-established part of who you are, it becomes really difficult to keep your beliefs ’hidden’ for long.  Your true thoughts and feelings end up revealing themselves in inopportune moments; but they always get out.  You might think you are hiding the REAL YOU from others in order to maintain relationships, make good impressions, or get what you want; but in the end…..your true character comes out.

Some examples of behaviors that come out of our disavowed self are: smoking; excessive and-or binge eating; excessive or impulsive drinking; drug use; uncontrollable gambling; cheating; and violent behaviors.

These behaviors become the hidden part of you that you often do ‘in secret’, and later feel shameful for. 

So why not make peace with the part of you that you have chosen to ignore  for a long time?

Dare to ask yourself: Who am I?

Consider how you would define yourself to yourself.  How do you describe who you are?  What parts of you would you like to change and how do you then integrate these ”improved” parts back into the ONE person that you could be with everyone and at all times? (e.g. No more being on best behavior, or not speaking truthfully when someone asks for your opinion).

I’m sure most people would say that they know themselves.  In fact, that’s one of the first comments clients make when I give them this challenge.  Yet when you start putting pen to paper, how well can you really describe yourself?  How honest are you really?

Make sure you include what are all of your greatest qualities as well as the parts of you that you are less happy with.  Once you have exhausted your list of attributes, you may then ask one or two trusted others to give you their input.  Be sure to explain that you want to hear what they think are your less than admirable traits as well as your most positive ones! (Eliciting others’ perspective isn’t necessary; but if you are unsure of how to describe yourself this may help.  Without judgment, consider how come you need to hear another’s perspective.  Do you trust enough in what you think?  Do you appreciate hearing how others’ perceive you?)

As you bring awareness to how you see yourself, you realize that what you reveal of yourself to others and who you are in those quiet moments of your life where no one is watching may indeed be different!!

The idea of oneness as I discuss in my upcoming book,

Wisdom:  A guidebook of Universal truths and teachings to inspire and transform consciousness; and for living an enlightened life depicts a state of conscious awareness where you practice living congruently and revealing your true self at all times.  No longer do you disavow your ‘dark side’ (the part of you that you attempt to keep hidden; that you are less proud of), but in fact you are willing to look closely at yourself in those moments when you are behave in ways that are not indicative of your true nature, and seek to work on the changes in your thought patterns and beliefs that will help you successfully be your ONENESS.

For example, perhaps you have a tendency to lose patience easily, to be aggressive or even bully others to get your way, or maybe your self-serving or egocentric attitude continues to damage your relationships.  Your commitment to ONENESS is your willingness to acknowledge this incongruent part of your self (the parts of YOU that begin with a thought or unhealthy belief and result in negative actions and behaviours).  Instead, become far more observant of the conflict that begins with your own negative thought patterns and work to change this so that you can live congruently with your ONE true nature: the part of you that is wholly kind and loving.

When you seek to establish oneness you no longer have to pretend.  You can be your true, authentic self – your whole self – with everyone.  Reveal your TRUE SELF in all areas of your life; with all people; at all times; and you will no longer need to hide or conceal the ‘dark side’ of your personality.  In those far fewer moments of weakness….because we are human … you will quickly correct what you said or did…in part because you are practicing greater awareness of your ONEself; but also because your new mandate – your new way of being in the world ….is to be ONENESS.

“The idea of oneness is to live congruently, with greater consciousness; as a highly evolved being.”

-Dorothy Ratusny

If you truly want to practice living ONENESS….consider what parts of your self you continue to keep hidden.  What behaviours do you want to continue keeping “secret”?  Rather than being inauthentic, consider how you might give up hiding the parts of yourself that you don’t like; consider how you might get help to change your actions and reactions, so that you no longer need to expend energy and effort hiding these parts of you away from the rest of the world.

Acknowledge what thoughts and behaviours you are not happy with.  Decide instead how you truly want to be.  (Sometimes we lie to ourselves saying we want to be different but really we aren’t truly prepared to do the inner work to be accountable to those changes).  Consider that you may need help from others you trust; and you may need to ask for gentle reminders when others notice that you have stepped back into old patterns.

Know that you will need to be far more self-observant and AWARE during those moments that you are tempted to live incongruently, and instead call on your conscious nature to bring your attention to what you are doing…. or what you are about to do.

ONENESS of self is a journey. 

It is something that we work toward throughout our life as a function of our intentional evolution and higher state of consciousness. 

Attaining a congruent nature as a loving being says you can be your highest self – your most loving self – with everyone at all times.  That is the ideal we strive for.

Namaste!

Sometimes I catch myself off balance.  I may, for some reason be standing on one foot in a moment as I do something …and I feel my balance going.  I may reach for something and notice a gentle wobble in my footing and realize that my balance in that moment is indeed missing.

We can listen to the signs of our bodies as a way of recognizing….reading…when balance is with us.  We feel ‘off balance’ when we are lacking sleep and our fun loving self is compromised.  We experience being out of balance when our diet is temporarily poor or if we haven`t moved our body – exercised it, strengthened it – challenged it beyond it’s normal task function.

The idea of BALANCE is overlooked as a fundamental element of life.  Look around you and see where the balance is in your life.  See where the balance no longer is.  Look inside yourself and ask the question: What do I need right now to be in balance?

Balance and its philosophy is a daily life practice. 

When we have balance in our life, we feel supported, nurtured, and whole.  Balance helps us to reach goals, to make change happen – to be inspired to create.  When our schedules become disproportionate; when important parts of our life are given less attention, our energy levels drop, our moods are affected, our momentum in life slows right down.

Balance exists most clearly when we are aware of our highest values: the ideals that are most important and necessary to us.  When we address and give attention to each of these areas of our life regularly – daily in fact, we cultivate and maintain balance.

Consider the most relevant areas that you place importance on:  love, happiness, health, family, truth, work/career, finances/wealth, travel, personal growth.  Perhaps you can also identify qualities that you want to place personal attention on: being a loving, kind person, fun/excitement, time with friends or making new friends, interests and hobbies, and education or study.

In a practical example, place all of your values in a ‘LIFE Balance Wheel’.  Doing so helps you to identify the areas that may have been neglected, as well as the areas that are currently dominating most of your time and energy.

The example above gives you an illustration of what some categories might be, based on your personal values.  You can have as many ‘pieces’ of the wheel as you need in order to include everything that is most important to you.

Step 1: Select All of the Values (categories) that you believe would provide the most fulfillment if they were at 100%

Step 2: Using a 1 – 7 rating scale (1=lowest and 7=highest), circle the number that best reflects the level at which you are currently at.

Step 3: Connect the Dots

Connecting the dots provides a visual to help you see exactly where you have balance.  Your core life values perfectly balanced will illustrate a wheel shape.  Otherwise, you will easily see what areas you have balance in and what areas needs your attention.

Step 4: Create ‘action steps’ as your immediate strategy for how you will bring more balance to those values that are lower.  What attention, effort or behavioral changes are required to raise these areas of your life into greater balance?

Decide what you will do to bring balance back into your life.  Most of us assume we have good life balance and we rarely bother to measure exactly where we are at.  When you feel unsatisfied or unhappy with one or several aspects of your life, it is always a cue that your life is not in balance.  Working to improve or change a value that needs attention may be one solution.

Values do shift over the course of our lifetime, so it is necessary to re-examine your core values to determine if what you think is important really is.  Adjusting your core life values to reflect the changing YOU means that you will always be working on what is integral and most important to your life.

Using a more intuitive practice, spend a few minutes (increasing this time as you may like) each morning asking your inner self: What area do I need to bring more awareness to?  What part of my life do I need to bring into BALANCE?  Listen and see the first idea that comes to mind and (without judgment) consider how you will implement this into positive action.

What can you do to bring these areas of your life into greater balance?  What are you willing to begin doing now?

While much of the world may be gearing up for family holidays or gently coasting toward the end of a calendar year, use this month of November to re-establish what your core values are and bring them into healthy BALANCE.  Observe how doing so helps you to be happier, more confident… and inwardly peaceful!

Namaste!

Couples entering therapy still do so as a last attempt to fix their relationship; usually after much irreversible damage has occurred. 

In most cases, couples rely on their partner to ‘change’ as a prerequisite for the relationship to improve.  Doing so simply averts the immediate positive outcome they are seeking since a loving couple relationship requires the efforts and ’inner’ work of both people.

A healthy and loving relationship is a product of both person in the relationship.  The more you improve upon who you are, the better all of your relationships become.  And for many couples who walk into therapy initially blaming their partner, it means reexamining their own actions, and reevaluating their beliefs and values including what they want in a partner.

Ultimately both people must want the relationship; both need to believe that each other adds immensely to the quality of their individual lives; and both members of the couple need to be consistently kind, loving and respectful to one another.

Two vital factors for the success and longevity  of all love relationships:

To develop and nurture a healthy love relationship that continues to transform itself, growing deeper with the passing of time, consider  these necessary elements:

1) Practice endless FORGIVENESS and ’FORGET’ past mistakes and wrongdoings. 

No person is the same as they were a month ago, a year ago, etc.  (Furthermore, we are  h u m a n).  If you are good at holding onto grudges or past hurts you are creating a proverbial “OCEAN” (never mind just “water”) under the bridge.  In time, the ocean engulfs the bridge and there is nothing left – including your relationship. 

Instead, attentively observe and listen to your partner’s words and reactions and seek to learn from them.  Ask question to clarify.  Please don’t assume that because you’ve been together 19 or 26 or even 42 years that you know each other implicitly.  WE do change, albeit in different ways.  Change sometimes means you adopt new beliefs or ways of being in the world.  You would do well to consider your partner is evolving as well – regardless of whether their growing pace is different from yours.  The beauty of forgiveness and forgetting means that there is nothing to harbour and no feelings of resentment or hurt. 

To resolve a past hurt that you haven’t forgiven, consider how you can forgive the person first, even if it is difficult to forgive the behavior.  Forgiveness helps with forgetting and letting go of the past.  Communicating what has hurt you helps the other person know better for future.  Rather than react with anger if the behavior occurs again, consider how you can remind your partner of the impact of their actions and simultaneously ask yourself what you need to do to change how you perceive this situation.  There is often some good opportunities for self-growth every time something angers you. 

When couples hold past resentments about a specific issue, they react every time this behavior occurs – but with  heightened and often irrational emotion.  The reaction is no longer specific to the current issue, but a culmination of all of the previous times that you were witness to this and similar behaviors.  It becomes a ‘KABOOM!’ reaction that is highly illogical and at the same time, harmful to the receiver.

2) Be UNCONDITIONALLY LOVING to your partner. 

The idea of unconditional love is to love without conditions or expectations.  Unconditional love means that you are open in your giving of love to your partner (never withholding).  When you feel angry or hurt, communicate in gentle ways that express your honest feelings without condemning the person.  (This may mean taking a step back first to process how and why you feel the way you do).  This often means more revelation about who you are then about what it was your partner did that angered or hurt you.

When couple clients begin therapy work: they often have sessions together, and also individually with myself.  The simple reason for this is so that I can help them uncover and heal their own issues from childhood, raise their levels of healthy SELF-esteem, and changing unwanted behaviors that continue to negatively impact their lives and in particular, their relationships with loved ones.  And of course, individual work in therapy invariably includes discovering more about one’s self.

You may not have chosen the absolutely best person as your life mate.  This is likely the most common reason people do not remain together in a love relationship. 

Choosing a life partner without knowing yourself intimately, and without maintaining full honesty about what is most important to you, means that you both are likely to feel as though you are sacrificing too much at different points in the relationship.

This truth revealed invariably catches up with you; and unless you and your partner are able to overcome some of the major differences you face, you may be better suited to find your SELF first …. then choose a ‘right’ partner.

Each month I encourage a different ‘inner’ focus for contemplation and study.  During October, I encourage you to examine your current state of ‘self-acceptance’.

The degree to which you are self-accepting is driven by your inner work.  Self-acceptance is something you can wholly experience in your adult life – with conscious attention and effort to your inner thoughts and beliefs, and by challenging the negative messaging you received in childhood.  It is not simply a matter of convincing yourself that you accept who you are.

Rather, it is through the work of honouring yourself, as you also strive to become better, for true acceptance of your whole being comes with pride of our true nature to be loving, kind beings together with work on the parts of our nature that at times, falters from this.

Likely, as you begin any kind of inner work, you may experience more self-criticism at the outset, largely because of the illumination of there being “so much work to do”.  With self-awareness, you are acutely observant of the things that need ‘work’ or changing, making true acceptance an even harder task to achieve.

Having high standards if fine as long as you view yourself through loving eyes.  Berating yourself simply causes your spirit to sink.  True self-acceptance means loving yourself unconditionally.  You accept who you are even as you may be making changes and challenging yourself to be more.  The idea here is that even as you already are a perfect being, your human nature (your ego, fear, and the self-doubts that are created by critical thoughts) will create both inner discomfort and outer behavior that goes against the true nature of what you are capable of.  For this reason, being observant and aware allows you to see the self-sabotage and destruction that can occur.

The idea of self-acceptance is to be kind and patient with yourself as you make changes and self-evolve.  Remember it is far easier to learn self-acceptance if you like and appreciate the person you are.

Self-acceptance becomes impossible to realize if you constantly compare yourself to others.  You cannot expect to be self-accepting if you are constantly critiquing yourself based on the qualities or life of another person.  Your standards for self-acceptance can never be something you measure up to another person.

For anyone who has been struggling with the self-acceptance, I encourage you to find the positive qualities – the things that you appreciate most about yourself.  What do you already accept and value about who you already are?  This is a huge starting place to embracing self-acceptance.

Next, ask yourself what aspects would you like to be accepting of but aren’t?  How can you let go of the “shoulds” you tell yourself and simply agree that you can find beauty / happiness / love / grace / acceptance in what you have, know, are… RIGHT NOW?

To actively choose self-acceptance in this moment means that you may still work toward becoming more, but that you continue to find the positives in yourself now.  Indeed this is how you start to accept rather than judge, critique, dislike, or loathe.

As with all inner work, you must do it for it to actually take effect.  I encourage you to focus this month on becoming self-accepting of your true nature.

Namaste!!