WISDOM

One of these days, I’m going to write a more extensive blog on the topic of channeling.  Channeling Divine energy is simply the act of being in touch with your Highest Self.  On some days (like this morning ) I channel bold global statements that I feel are worthy of sharing – trusting in that those of you on your spiritual path will find the words I write comforting, and inspirational.  To channel or ‘communicate’ with your Highest Self is simply bringing the Divine out of you – whether that be in words, actions of kindness and love, or beautiful thoughts that become wonderful things.  Enjoy!

Love is infinitely strong in its grace; in its capacity for freedom,and acknowledgement of all that is good, comforting, and just in the world.

Love deliberately and joyously given… strengths and heals past wounds for in being forgiving, LOVE overrides despair and initiates understanding and healing.

Love does not imitate false hope nor does it pretend that which is untrue or unfaithful.  Love cures all things.  Because of your capacity to elicit love, you feel its healing effects – its soothing properties of lightness and bold expansion coursing through you.  This is how you experience yourself as ‘larger than life’ (not in a boastful, ego-driven way, but as true immensity for greatness).

Holding love for others means you can hold more for yourself.  

‘Holding’ (feeling) love for others fills you with the feeling of love.  It is though this that you experience the depth of love you are capable of – directed inward.  Learning how to love the self is one of the greatest life lessons we could ever know.

Namaste everyone!

There are many definitions for who and what a ‘father’ is.

In organized religion, “Father” (theologian, priest, Padre) is the term used to refer to a person who performs and oversees a sanctioned sacred ceremony. “Father” is also the name for a higher power – e.g. “God the Father” (the first person of the Holy Trinity). Biologically, a father (a male parent) is someone who has co-created a child.

As a transitive verb: “to father” is to beget, bring forward, make something new; and to accept responsibility for.

*Check out the origin of Father’s Day at the bottom of this blog*

We likely expect a great deal from our Father. After all, they have taken on this role willingly and eagerly, right? This means that they should know what fatherhood is all about and consistently “know best”. Of course, fathers are not perfect….nor can we expect them to be.

Perhaps I offer a different viewpoint simply because as a Psychotherapist, I am privy to hearing the less than positive experiences clients convey about their own fathers, husbands, and father-in-laws.  I hear how these men have come up short; “have not spent enough time with their young growing children”, “have been absent”, “verbally (emotionally, or even physically) abusive”, “manipulative”, “irresponsible” and the like. (And ‘Yes’ I do hear the “good” stories; but predominantly I am called upon to help with the ‘less than ideal’ realities others live with).

Just because you have co-created a child doesn’t mean you automatically become a great father. Indeed, the title ‘father’ like any ‘title’ is one that requires consistent effort, learning, patience, understanding, discipline, forgiveness, and so many other traits that typically require more “work” than you could ever have imagined.

Just yesterday I heard ‘a father’ scream at the top of his lungs (so loudly I wanted to find cover as far away as I could get to) at “his” 6-yr old son because the young boy was “not listening”.

I don’t hear people claiming that parenting is an easy ‘role’, yet it is a role that challenges any adult male to come to terms with their own demons, to take responsibility for their choice to co-create, and to ‘make peace’ with their family of origin issues (including their own relationship with their male parent).

Fatherhood should you choose that ‘role’ is one that requires the commitment first to be your very best self. Fatherhood (and similarly Motherhood) are very much among the most challenging ‘responsibilities’ you will have. For most people, the role of parent is a great character builder; teaching us to think of the well being of others and in cases, to put others’ needs first before those of our own, to love unconditionally (even when our child does not act lovingly toward us), and to allow ourselves to be stretched and moved to grow beyond who we once were.

Fatherhood is a significant and life altering role – primarily in the first, formative years of a child’s development, and then, hopefully as your child grows, you recognize that your role as a father changes. You become mentor, guide, counsellor, and also friend. There will be a pivotal moment in your child’s life where you really aren’t practicing the ‘practical’ role of father as you once did. If you can let go of your need to attach too much of your self-worth to your title (and this usually goes hand in hand with making less demands of your now adult child (or children), and simply enjoy their company); you will likely see the fruits of your labour, and enjoying the forever changing relationship that exists between parent and child.

Success in fatherhood isn’t always ‘getting it right’, but being willing to learn from your past behaviours in order to be different – and of course -”getting it right” going forward.

Clients who report to have the most loving relationship with their adult children are those who enjoy them; without continuing to micro-manage details of their life.  Fathers who truly embrace their parental role realize that love is the only true requirement of them – particularly as a child grows up, becoming their own adult.

As a father, consider giving up any and all needs to be ‘perfect’, ‘all knowing’, and ‘right’ (including the need of your ego to prove yourself so), and instead let the experiences of your role as father: teach, shape, challenge, and aspire you to being your greatest version of yourself.

The role of father does not imply perfection, nor wisdom.

Rather it is in a man’s ability to be open to learn from their life experiences as ‘father’, to learn from all that their child ‘demands’ of them (because children are among life’s great teachers even when they do not realize they are being so), and from their ‘duties’ as caregiver, role-model, and mentor – that ultimately they experience the wisdom and grace of what teachings they have so perfectly been given.

Become a great father by being willing to change, transform, and grow through examining your ‘behaviours’, your character traits, vulnerabilities, and existing belief system. Deciding to see yourself honestly will then influence how you choose to be different. Consider how you want to teach, model, mentor, and offer guidance so you can be the great father you aspire to (and especially in those most challenging moments).

This isn’t a new message I’m relaying. The message is worth repeating because so many men idealize the “role” of father when indeed one’s ability to be ‘a great father’ to anyone begins with your ability to first be a great human being.

Some practical suggestions if you are contemplating fatherhood or …reflecting on aspects of your present role as a father that could be better:

Begin with a simple list of behaviours and character traits that you believe would make you a great father. (Noting that some of these may be what you already possess). Next, make a second list of any behaviours and personality traits that you know would benefit you as a person– without attaching yourself to any roles here.  Even if you don’t initially know how you will accomplish your changes (which is what clients initially say), trust that by imagining the new actions that would support your new ideals, you begin a path toward becoming different. Change doesn’t happen without working toward a new outcome. Making self-improvements always has a positive spill-over effect to how you are as a …. brother, husband, friend, uncle, boss – and any other role you choose to be.

Notice the similarities of both lists.  Hhmmmmmm  

Now…begin moving toward the changes in small steps.

And finally….A father doesn’t have to have produced ‘off-spring’ to be a great father. I know this first hand.

Namaste everyone!

Did you know?

The idea for an official Father’s Day celebration came to a married daughter, seated in a church in Spokane, Washington, attentive to a Sunday sermon on Mother’s Day in 1910. This was two years after the first Mother’s Day observance in West Virginia.

The daughter was Mrs. Sonora Smart Dodd. During the sermon, which extolled maternal sacrifices made for children, Mrs. Dodd realized that in her own family it had been her father, William Jackson Smart, a Civil War veteran, who had sacrificed-raising herself and five sons alone, following the early death of his wife in childbirth. For Mrs. Dodd, the hardships her father had endured on their eastern Washington farm called to mind the unsung feats of fathers everywhere.

Her proposed local Father’s Day celebration received strong support from the town’s ministers and members of the Spokane YMCA. Newspapers across the country, already endorsing the need for a national Mother’s Day, began carrying stories about the unique Spokane observance. Interest in Father’s Day increased.

In 1916, President Woodrow Wilson and his family personally observed the day. In 1924, President Calvin Coolidge recommended that states, if they wished, should hold their own Father’s Day observances. He wrote to the nation’s governors that “the widespread observance of this occasion is calculated to establish more intimate relations between fathers and their children, and also to impress upon fathers the full measure of their obligations.”

It wasn’t until 1972, sixty-two years after it was proposed by Mrs. Dodd, Father’s Day was permanently established by President Richard Nixon. 

Some would say that the process of therapy is about getting help with a critical life situation or problem that you’ve been struggling with on your own for some time.  

And yet, I always explain when asked ……. the fundamental purpose of therapy is to help clients see themselves (and their life situation) clearly – accurately – truthfully.

It’s actually quite common for a client to attend only a session or two (yes that quickly!) and have a pivotal, life changing … “Ah ha” moment.

Self-awareness doesn’t only happen ‘in’ therapy, but whenever someone is willing to look at a situation (or their self) with different eyes – or in many cases with severe honesty – and the intention of seeing things from a different (and more accurate) perspective.  And yet to admit the truth (particularly when it means revealing a flaw or problematic behavior) to yourself is a difficult thing for many of us.

There are many times in our life where we know exactly what to do, but yet don’t do it.

Being open to seeing a situation, a behaviour, or a way of thinking with honestly, requires that you see it as “it is”.  No doubt it’s easier to sugar coat the truth, to make excuses for your own (or another’s) actions, or to tell yourself that “it’s okay” in an effort to deny a gnawing feeling that you have when you know deep down inside that what you’ve just told yourself is “okay”, is truly not.

Recently a client had finished a series of counselling sessions with me.  Her actions in the workplace (reprimanding her staff “with aggression”, ‘mothering’ rather than ‘mentoring’, using sarcasm and passive-aggressive behaviours rather than dealing with matters directly and calmly) made her a candidate for receiving therapy as part of the necessary requirements of her conditions of future employment.

At the outset of therapy, it felt as though nothing I was saying was reaching her.  Sylvia (not her real name) appeared to be actively defending her behaviours, as well as denying some of the accusations made toward her.

Fast forward a few sessions and I gratefully began to see the results  (the payoff) of Sylvia’s struggles to see what I was attempting to show her.

It is when we first take responsibility for SELF and for our ‘own’ actions, that we become “awake”.

To be awake is to be able to see yourself and all of your thoughts, feelings, and actions with clarity and truth.

In a moment of ‘awakening’ we forever change.  There is a shift that occurs deep within our psyche that acknowledges what we have done, who we have been, and how we have viewed the world up to this moment.  When we awaken we “evolve” – we transform.  As our eyes open to seeing ourselves both as we are, and how we have been – it is like turning a page in a book.  We see and recall details of the chapter we have just read, but we are now looking forward to the next chapter in front of us.  (At any time, we can go back and reread parts of previous chapters – much like how we benefit from reviewing, reflecting on past behaviours, and reminding ourselves of where we have come from).  The idea here is that our awakening begins first with awareness – recognition – and acknowledgement.  

Enlightenment comes out of your willingness to live in that new found awareness.  It is the gift of living “awakened”.

When you look at a situation in order to examine, dissect, and understand it, there is usually an underlying and often overwhelming need to have things be “okay”.  Observe your self first.  Truly it is only your own actions that you can change so this should be your focus and not the actions of others.  Be willing to see your ‘mistakes’, to note where you could have behaved differently, and to imagine what other outcomes (within your own control) would have been more helpful.  Be willing to see your imperfections not from a place of harsh judgment but as a way of learning – and of observation as a means towards positive change.  

As an adult, we don’t have the same level of input from caregivers, teachers, and positive role models (e.g. older siblings who have done ‘good’ in the world) that can guide us.  As adults, we forget that we are not infallible nor have we mastered all of the “right” behaviours.

When you begin to see yourself honestly, you will likely also experience a barrage of distinct emotions.  For example, sadness, remorse, disbelief, shame, regret etc for what has transpired, and for what you are willing to take responsibility for (even if just quietly to yourself).  

This stage is important since it is in ‘awakening’ to yourself completely that change happens.

As you move into another ‘way of being’ – or as I refer to in my upcoming book: ‘WISDOM’, “a return to your true self” – you cannot help but see the world differently.  For example, the exact same behaviours in others in light of your new found clarity (your awakened state) can no longer be overlooked or denied.  The world around you may initially not appear so bright or pretty with your ‘new’ eyes.  It can (and often does) leave one feeling despondent, depressed, even hopeless… and wondering how much better it really is to see the ‘truth’ (hence the phrase: “ignorance is bliss”).  

Seeing clearly at times means big changes for how someone lives their life.  It isn’t unusual for a person to change careers, release a relationship, change their lifestyle (e.g. become vegetarian) as a result of their awakening.  None of these changes likely occur without careful thought; you realize that you no longer can continue living the same ‘lie’ – the same incongruency that you once did.  

And remember, the changes you make from an awakened state even while difficult at times, while always improve the quality of your life (and reveal your natural state of happiness).

So how do you exist in your new non-blissful state of truth?

You actually need to feel uncomfortable, let down, and at times even betrayed (yes indeed…. betrayal is a keen motivator compelling you forward to take care of yourself).  For Sylvia, it was returning to the same workplace she had left two months earlier, except that now she saw everything as it was.

In those first two weeks, she experienced other staff resistant to helping her integrate back into the team.  She noted colleagues were hesitant to share updated procedures, and a Manager who appeared to be ‘playing’ multiple sides at once, telling her what he thought she would want to hear rather than the ‘whole’ truth.

Seeing everything ‘as it is’ means that you need to observe with a strong resolve of  ”detachment”.  You can become easily distraught in the ‘half-truths’ or unethical behaviours.  Choose instead to focus on being your best, rather than attempting to change everyone around you.  Realizing that what she saw all around her was no longer acceptable meant that Sylvia no longer wished to stay on in her job. 

Envision the great things that YOU will do with your life.  It would be sad to allow all that you now see “cloud” your life by being negatively affected.  See the truth but remember – its not your job to ensure that everyone is behaving well.  Allow others to be who they are without needing to change them.

Be aware and awake – focusing on what good you will bring to your own life.  To be distracted by all the ‘wrongs’ that you now see would take away from what your new clarity has in store for you.  Pay attention to your heart’s yearnings….and the signs and messages that you see pointing you in a new direction or challenging you with a welcoming opportunity that you can feel excited about.

The message below is a little strong…but there’s ultimately truth in it… and …it does make you think

Namaste everyone!!

A recent reminder rekindled my interest and desire to run.  I was enjoying the ‘gentle’ landing of the treadmill beneath my feet this morning and gazing in reflection across the street when I saw them.  

A woman likely in her early to mid-fifties was helping what I imagined was her mother get out of the car.  The mother looked far older than her likely age.  She required a walker and even with its support, she walked carefully – slowly.  They were going inside one of those medical clinics where you have your have tests run (e.g. blood work, urinalysis, etc).   

I was watching with curiosity while simultaneously enjoying the ease of running – moving my legs at any pace I desired; feeling the freedom and ease of deliberate constant movement and the expression of my body in motion. 

How often do we take for granted such important abilities so many of us are born possessing?

For how long might we have such a gift before it is no longer an aspect of life for us?

I am no distance triathlete, but I love the feeling of my body moving with ease; and how running in particular requires nothing but the road (or treadmill) beneath you.  With running you feel a part of everything in your surroundings and so incredibly free.

Are we truly grateful each time we get out of bed or do we loathe what is to be a brand NEW day of life?

I understand the importance in enjoying each moment.  I also believe that we are always shown reminders of what to be grateful for and also what can become our destiny.

How willing are you to enjoy the simplest of life’s blessings?

Consider being thankful for even the smallest abilities you possess.  Then notice how much more abundance, privilege, and “gifting” – you are given.

Namaste everyone!

I was speaking several months ago to someone at my gym.  He is a retired ‘snowbird’ who spends half of his time in the GTA and half of his time in his home in Florida.  I noticed that his gym workouts consisted of the same sort of routine; even using the EXACT ‘same’ stairmaster each time he was in the gym.

Repeating similar behaviours means that you hold the same types of thought patterns.  Thinking the same (or similar) thoughts is not how change occurs.

A brief conversation with this gentleman revealed he wanted to lose 20 or more pounds.  His “Florida lifestyle” was largely unhealthy – eating much processed foods and often eating out with little activity.  I remember listening to him carefully before suggesting that his behaviours were ‘a choice’.  Regardless where he was, he needed to consider what he was choosing.

As recently as yesterday, a client in my office commented on a recent “choice” of his former girlfriend as a “mistake”.  He noted it was a mistake since she “had several months in which to change her mind/to correct her actions” but did not.  Choices may indeed be mistakes, and we may not always be able to correct the past, but what is most important is what we CHOOSE going forward.

ALL behaviours that you instantly identify as ‘wrong’, ‘bad’, and ‘poor’ choices – are all correctable.  In the very next instant …your awareness of what you have “done” means that you can correct or change a future CHOICE.

This is how we make better choices in the present moment.  This is how we begin to exist as DIFFERENT – changed – in the present.

I know that the gym is not a typical place for a therapy session!  Yet fast forward several months later and this retired gym goer is twenty pounds lighter.  He made the ‘choice’ to change aspects of his lifestyle (and does a lot more than an easy pace on the same gym equipment each workout)!  He shared with me recently that our earlier conversation stuck with him…. especially my words of his desires for a healthier lifestyle as…. ’a choice’.

As humans living a physical existence, we have so many choices facing us each day.  We always know what is the ‘right’ thing to do even when we choose based on desires (junk food versus healthy, aggression verus peaceful action, hostility versus forgiveness).

Your choices set the stage for how your next moment will be.

We forget that we are in charge of our future moments simply by how we behave and respond NOW and what we do or don’t do towards something.

Consider any change that you have been struggling with.  What similar “choices” do you continue to make?  What new choices need to be in place before change occurs?

This is how you begin creating new (lasting) behaviours.  Begin with the observation of what you continue to do.  See your actions honestly and choose what will be your NEW BEHAVIOR in future.  Pre-planning your future behaviours for when you are in specific situations helps you to make the new choice more easily.  Being observant and mindful of all of your thoughts and actions ensures that you are making choices consciously, and not as a knee-jerk reaction based on what you have always done. 

Consider that even a choice to change a previous pattern of behaving ONCE is a step toward a lasting change.  Being able to choose differently for a ‘first’ time (or correct a behaviour wherever possible as soon as you can) helps to ensure that you CAN make change happen – and that you can do what you’ve been telling yourself you want to do.

Begin with any behaviour you are hoping to change and CHOOSE NOW what important step will be in line with making that change a permanent one.

Namaste everyone!!

Most of the time we remain fixated on the outcome – “the end goal”. We lose faith in our ability to attain some of our goals because the road ahead of us appears long, difficult, or at times “impossible”.

What if you focused on just today?

Know your future goals and ideals and yet remain focused on TODAY to support your future desires.  Let yourself feel ‘in control’ of what you think, feel, and do today toward your longer term ideal while making all of your choices TODAY the very best possible towards what you want most.

This is how change becomes possible. This is how you progress successfully toward what you want feeling confident, positive, and hopeful.

 It’s important to have the end game in mind – to visualize exactly what you want as you want it.  This is your greatest strategy toward being successful; in staying motivated, and in keeping focused.  The “work” has to happen in the present moment.  Visualize the future but stay committed to TODAY for this is where you are able to invoke change, be in control, take the important steps toward what you want most.

Namaste everyone!

Living with someone else requires a dedication to the spirit.  It requires an understanding that their soul has unique experiences it seeks to have – experiences that may be different from your own.  This doesn’t mean that two people cannot be compatible unless they share EVERYTHING – rather it is when two people share everything that they follow NEITHER of their chosen paths – for their paths must be clearly their own and not a ‘compromise’ of what they truly desire.

Honour the wisdom of your OWN HEART.  Honour the freedom to experience yourself and your path at all times.  This is the true meaning of living a full life.  Even as you honour the life choices you make, begin to see how these will shape who you become – who you wish to be.  Knowledge of the path we wish to choose is important for our lives.  We can live anything as long as we choose it first; as long as we are indebted to the process of becoming who and what our soul yearns for.

In a love relationship, we must experience it first through our own eyes…. and including the urging of our heart at all times.  Openly examine your deepest desires to reveal what is most important – and to live that TRUTH.  To dishonour this inner calling only means you are left feeling something is missing, something is lost, and that there is inherently more that you need to be doing and living.

Couples who remain together indefinitely and who remain truly fulfilled have given themselves the “permission” to pursue the activity that they truly care about – its like taking many workshops of different styles of painting as an artist, but then choosing to paint pictures with the style that is truly what you enjoy most.  To do anything different would never feel authentic nor as pleasurable.

Let your spirit tell you what truly makes YOU happy and LIVE IT.  Trusting in the process that both people – if their compatibility is high enough – can live an incredible ‘couplehood’ together  - each one allowing the other to pursue their deepest desires and goals while pursing their own.

TRUE COMPATIBILITY in love is not dependent on doing everything together rather it is love INCLUSIVE of what actions and choices each member of the couple might pursue.

It is also TRUST that lasting love also requires movement for growth and independence for each of the two people.

To love someone unconditionally IS to accept that you will allow them to follow their unique path – to enjoy as many moments and times that are available for you both to share – but to acknowledge that loving someone fully does not require that you do everything SIMILAR or TOGETHER.  This is the true definition of acceptance – of unconditional love – of ‘unselfish’ love.  This way of being is what affirms, supports, and bonds a couple infinitely.

Namaste everyone!

Sometimes a situation cannot heal until you release the challenge completely – allowing healing light to enter it.  

To realize a healing, you must first stop focusing on “what is wrong” and instead affirm: “Everything is in Divine and perfect order right now”.

Hold thoughts of love around any situation that needs healing.  Visualize the situation as HEALED NOW.  Give thanks to the Divine (God) for this healing and completely release it.  

Practice this method of healing in your quiet moments of meditation and see what profound impact it holds for yourself and others.  Namaste everyone!!

Perhaps one of the most undervalued privileges of the human experience is self-knowledge.  Beyond describing what it is that we do for a living, our preference of music genre, or our favourite ice-cream flavour, how well do we really know our self?  Much of our adolescence is spent contemplating who we would like to be (or self-loathing who we think we are) in comparison to peer groups and current media influences.   As we enter adulthood and strive to be autonomous, self-knowledge is somehow less important than the perception others have of us.  We decide on a vocation, a life partner and all of the other tangible items (e.g. job status, accumulation of material goods, even our decision to have children) that fulfill society’s requirement for living a meaningful existence – all without placing value on knowing our self.

Knowing your self comes from journeying within.  At the core of self-knowledge is honesty and authenticity.  You need to be willing to see yourself accurately, and yet with acceptance rather than judgment.  Sometimes this is best achieved when a loved one can act as a mirror, reflecting back to you what they observe.  More often, it is your commitment and perseverance to self-awareness that elicits insight, knowledge, and understanding.  Out of the honest observation of your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours, it becomes intolerable to ignore the truth.  Self-knowledge promotes positive action.

Out of self-knowledge you are forced to examine your vulnerabilities and imperfections.  Through self-awareness and self-responsibility, you see the various events of your life as challenges to grow – and to become more.  Through this process of growth, you evolve.  Self-actualization (the motive to realize one’s full potential) in experienced as the result of the relentless pursuit of conscious awareness and personal growth.*

While clients may initially seek therapy for help and guidance with a specific problem or situation, the inescapable benefit of the therapeutic process is the opportunity for self-honesty and clarity.  The net result is an understanding and authenticity that comes from being truthful.  You may not always like what you see, but your commitment to self-honesty is what facilities positive change.

Some suggestions for attaining greater self-knowledge and truth:

Create a ‘Who Am I’ List

Use a journal to record an exhaustive list of qualities that best describe who you are.  Without screening or judging your thoughts, note all of your traits, core competencies, positive attributes as well as what aspects of yourself you would like to change.  The process of creating such a comprehensive list requires you to identify yourself-concept (how you see yourself).  The qualities that you wish to change provide you with a place for personal growth.

Practice Conscious Awareness

Self-knowledge and understanding cannot exist without conscious awareness.  Practice present moment awareness for bringing your attention to your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours – particularly at times when you are not your ‘best’ self.  With conscious awareness, you continue to learn about yourself.  Out of self-knowledge you choose how you want to be, rather than simply doing what you have always done.  Being self-aware reflects empowerment and provides you with the insightful information that you alone can be responsible for.

‘Live in your Truth’

With self-honesty, it is possible to develop a healthy (empowered) sense of self.  Out of honesty comes the ability to grow self-esteem.  Healthy self-esteem requires that you value yourself and your happiness.  You feel confident in your ability to express yourself with honesty and authenticity.  To live in your truth means that you honour what is best and right for you and you live according to that.

If we consider that self-discovery and self-knowledge exists on a continuum, then we accept that the possibility for learning about who we are is endless.  Self-awareness transcends age, educational level, and intelligence.  In fact, the more self-aware and reflective we are, the more incredible we become as a human being.

Namaste everyone!

*Expressing one’s creativity, quest for spiritual enlightenment, pursuit of knowledge, and the desire to give to society are some other examples of self-actualization.

The idea of 90 days comes from a recent conversation with a client.  His partner’s father went for medical tests after he exhibited some problems with his cognitive functioning.  The tests revealed a diagnosis of cancer and a life expectancy of  90 days.

How would you live each day – each hour – each minute ….if you knew you had 90 days left to live?

I quietly cringe when I hear people use the phrase: “I had time to kill…..”

Likely they don’t deliberate on what meaning their words have.  I never want to “kill away” any time of precious life; one can never get that time back in moments when we wish we had more; and we can certainly never go back to re-live something.

I wonder how different we might approach our life if we lived with the hopeful anticipation of living forever, yet with the inner awareness and deliberate action of knowing that it can also be as little as 90 days….or less.

Would all of the needless thoughts still take up so much space in our mind?  Would we say: “I’m sorry” sooner?  Would we begin that project now?  Would we drop everything and find a beach to walk on?

The point isn’t to try and fit in all that you can if you only had 90 days to live.  It’s to consider how you would best spend the time you have, living life.  Practice living the greatest life you can for the next 90 days.  See where your dreams and deepest desires take you.  Consider that quiet introspection and reflection is just as important (perhaps more so), as taking action.

If you had 90 days to live, could you do so with inner peace, calm, and purpose?

Why not make your personal 90 day list.  What are the most important things to you? How could you experience them NOW?  Challenge yourself with making the next 90 days incredible beginning TODAY… What will you do?

Namaste everyone!

April has begun with a gentle quietness.  There are signs indicating a ‘break’ in the weather and the coming ‘thaw’ of Spring.  Yet even with the promise of warmer temperatures and the anticipation of nature’s gentle ‘rebirth’, there are also gentle reminders (like the small snow pellets falling last week and the intermittent cold days!) of the need for patience; to prepare, contemplate, and plan.  One does not walk into a new or next phase of life without having some things remaining to complete, finish, or perhaps release. 

Now is the perfect time to introspect and to deepen one’s resolve toward what we desire most.  Working toward our goals and ambitions means we can enjoy the fruits of our labour – much like the enchanted gardener who, even while she carefully plants spring bulbs in the late fall …. hoping, trusting, and believing in her efforts in the months to come; continues to prepare the soil in early spring; planting more. 

While we may be in anticipation of the coming warmer months, there is perfection in using this time thoughtfully, considering what gentle preparation and ‘inner’ work is needed in order to experience our self in bloom in the months to come.

One way you can easily do this is to commit to quiet time in self-reflection and meditation.  Let yourself be guided by your true desires; all you need to do is decide on the ensuing action steps that will move you toward what you most want.

I also know how helpful it is to have a sacred Meditation practice; a personal and intimate time that you dedicate in quiet silence – allowing the inner voice of your soul to be heard.  Whether you have such a beautiful gift already in place in your life, or you would like to begin one…. this Mediation ‘retreat’ is a perfect experience both for how you contemplate being LOVE in the world, but also how you develop the ability to open yourself to the experience of Meditation in your life.  Namaste!!

Being Love

A Meditation Retreat with Dorothy Ratusny

This Retreat is ideal for anyone who has ever wanted to experience Meditation, deepen an existing practice, and for those who have been “in love”, grieved love, or who may be looking for a new love relationship.

“Being Love is both a deliberate action and a state of mind – a conscious decision to act and live in ways that model love in the world and in your life.  We have evolved as humans to a place of conscious transformation where living “as love” is no longer a lofty ideal but a certainty we can all work toward.  Acts of our love already show us the power of being love. If we ever needed a reminder all we have to do is remember how our loving words and actions touch the hearts and minds of others so deeply.”                 - Dorothy Ratusny

Retreat Highlights:

* Experience how to heal the past with meditation, love, and compassion.

* Discover the inner peace that comes with unconditional self-love and acceptance; and the freedom of feeling LOVE from within rather than seeking others to love us.

* Experience the freedom of healthy detachment and the ability to ‘let go with love’.

* Learn how to send loving energy in a way that improves and heals relationships, and opens the hearts of those you care about so deeply.

* Experience through meditation how you can live with your heart open and as a being of love without being hurt; and how your open heart helps you to enjoy the richness and natural “bliss” of life.

* Discover how to access the Divine wisdom of your heart chakra for knowing TRUTH.

* Learn an essential breathing technique for reconnecting with the loving energy of your Divine nature.

Please join us!

Venue: Metropolitan United Church56 Queen St. East., TORONTO, Ont. 

Workshop Fee: $95 (includes hst)

SATURDAY, APRIL 20th Noon-5:00pm

Please Register with: Dorothy Ratusny  t: 647.889.8722e: dorothy@dorothyratusny.com

Dorothy Ratusny is a Certified Psychotherapist in private practice in Toronto, Canada who specializes in Cognitive Therapy. She is the Author of ‘The Purpose of Love’ (Insomniac Press, 2007), ‘Live Your Life’s Purpose’ (Insomniac Press, 2008), ‘WISDOM: Divine Guidance for your Spiritual Journey’ (2013), and her NEW Meditation CD, ‘Being Love’ (2013).  She maintains a longstanding devout daily meditation practice and teaches meditation extensively.  For more information please visit: www.dorothyratusny.com

What does it mean to have eternal life?  How are we immortal?

If you choose to honour life in its infinite perfection, and for the many experiences – all of which give us incredible opportunity for knowledge, growth, healing, joy (and fun), etc. – then the experience of death is yet another experience of life.

Experiencing death through the expression of life means that we see death as the ending point of ‘this’ life experience, but certainly not the end.  The majority of organized religions believe in the immortality of the soul; and of another life that follows when the embodied soul leaves our physical being.

The soul as a densely inspired grouping of matter (energy) is what returns to Source.  In it’s divine state, our soul looks to reclaim all of its earthly ‘physical’ experiences, to acknowledge its sojourn as pureness and infinite love.  The hopeful ideal is that the soul’s earthly time in physical form has served to heal and release past karma from previous lives spent as a physical being and to become acknowledged and integrated by the “self”.  Remember the soul is both within us and a part of the universal soul (universal consciousness) and is infinite love.  Our free will determines whether we allow the soul to shine outwardly from within us - its presence to be felt and integrated wholly as the energy of love – or not.  (Free will whether experienced as conscious or unconscious choices exist in humans and in animals; and is always challenged by impulse, instinct, habit – and specifically in humans as ego, and the busy ‘thought’ distractions of the mind).

Does the soul consciousness know when it is “time” to leave the physical body?  Can the soul experience a sense of ‘completion’ of its “work” or “objectives” in the physical world and is this related to why some people claim they feel peacefully “ready” for death in the final stages of life?

The physical body does what it is designed to do; live (thrive in fact) until it can no longer (either by our free will choice to die and with that, a refusal to care for our physical body until its uncertain demise, or in some cases, our continued mistreatment of our physical ‘home’, and the unnecessary ‘suffering’ and eventually failure of our physical condition).

If you believe in the theory that we are all energy… that “our” soul energy never ‘dies’ with our physical body but returns to ‘Source’, then all of us are never really dying.  While our physical body does have an ultimate ending point; the soul is eternal.  Remember that the soul (as energy) will at some later time, be embodied in another physical being. Those of us who have the ability to know we are about to ‘leave’ this world have the luxury of making some final plans, of perhaps ‘making peace’ with others, or simply preparing to go.

The soul doesn’t experience physical death – only the moments just prior to death. At ‘death’ the soul consciousness if it is prepared to leave, simply moves from the physical (body) form back into the world of energy.

In the case of animal souls, it has been said that their ‘shorter’ life span has very much to do with the fact that they have completed what experiences or ‘purpose’ they set out in search of.  An animal (and most certainly a domesticated pet) is infinitely loving – something that we as humans spend a great deal of our life failing to master.

Do our animal pets contemplate the ending of their life?  Do they have thoughts of “wishing” they were “healthy” or “wishing to die?”  Perhaps we will never have a provable answer to these questions, although it is likely that an animal is more often than not – simply living each moment in the present – and in the best way that they can.

Animals in general… and certainly the animals I have chosen to raise, love, and care for… have always gifted me with lessons of hope, bravery, strength, and unconditional love.  They remind me of the beauty in the simplest of actions, and the perfection in being present in each moment, living intentionally, and of course loving purely and intensely.

If we remain observant, animals remind us of our innate nature as: peaceful, curious, vulnerable, playful and loving.  They show us the pure joy in being their innate perfection: watching, running, jumping, chasing what moves, and thriving on being alive.  Sadly it is our ‘human nature’ that creates the complexities, confusion, and angst we live with, robbing us of our pure infinite potential.  Our four legged loved ones also teach us about the simple actions of life and death and of simply moving to another place as ‘energy’.  While most of us fear death, or at the least feel unsettled about it; animals teach us how to live in the physical world until at some point they no longer do so.  They don’t contemplate the ‘ending’ of their life in the same way we do; nor do they (likely) deliberate on it.

Animals are instinctive by nature.  They accept whatever is and do their ‘best’ in that moment.  They do not understand labels such as ‘terminal illness’ so they continue living in whatever way possible (and as best as they can) until they can no longer do so.  In many terminal conditions such as cancer, the body slowly deteriorates and the animal’s physical abilities decline until they are just a physical ‘shell’.  The soul remains until the moment of physical death but the animal (and how it was known to be) certainly appears to be ‘gone’.

It remains to be seen whether all of the ways we attempt to hold off death are really humane after all.

If you knew that you were going to a better place; (if you were shown pictures, or able to watch a movie depicting what your experience would be), would it make it easier to pass, leaving behind this life?  If you were able to remain present and to live each moment, then you likely would not spend much time contemplating what was coming.  Your attention would remain on how you were living right now.

Perhaps the most significant thing death teaches us is how to live…how to free ourselves of the unneeded worry and suffering and instead – thrive, enjoy, honour the life we have been given.  Remember all of our experiences are experiences the soul yearns for.

Namaste!

www.dorothyratusny.com

An added afterthought and update:

This is what we want to hold onto; we want to enjoy the privilege of having the physical moments of: holding, hugging, touching, kissing, and feeling the kinesthetic luxury of being spirit embodied.  We absolutely want to hold onto this physical life and all of its gracious pleasures for as long as we can – even if the quality of our life has changed or deteriorated.

We can also influence a soul’s decision to leave by not wanting the physical being to go.  The idea of ‘giving permission’ for the animal or human to die is a way of energetically detaching – of gently releasing the soul from the physical body – particularly in cases where the soul energy is ‘hanging on’ for the sake of others.

The message of February’s ‘SURRENDER AND RELEASE’ reminds us of the power in “letting go”, of shedding the parts of our self (and our life) that are no longer working, nor contributing to the good of our Highest Self.   When you surrender it means you can stop forcing something that may not be divine timing or ‘right’ for you; instead looking at what is available, what is in front of you, what is more aligned with your ‘truth’.

When you ‘let go’, ASK for help and Divine Guidance from your Highest Self.

Then trust that everything you surrender and release to will either be replaced by something BETTER or become HEALED.

These become powerful lessons in “faith” and “trust”; important for all of us on a spiritual path.

This month’s message comes at a perfect time when we need to consider everything that is not working in our life and make a conscious decision about what to do with it.  Holding onto (whether physically or metaphorically) the things that aren’t contributing to our quality of life, that feel like a burden or ‘difficult’, or that cause us stress and unhappiness – are the precise ‘things’ what we need to surrender to.

This doesn’t mean we have permission to give up on a relationship, or stop working on our goals; rather surrendering is about pausing, observing, and ASKING to be ‘shown’ the gift or blessing in what we are struggling with in order to learn something important.  What we learn always helps us! 

Be willing to surrender your fears; visualizing them being carried away –  and replaced with what you need instead.  (Consider what you need in any situation.  e.g. courage, confidence, patience, etc).

When you think of issues you want resolved you can ask your Highest Self to give you a “higher” or “healed” version of the issue.  

You can also ‘release’ the issue to your Highest Self and ask that it be taken care of for you.  Sit quietly, relax, and close your eyes.  Surround the issue or situation in light and release it.  For the next 5-10 minutes, see yourself receiving answers and ‘right’ guidance.  

Feel yourself being supported by the divine Wisdom of your Highest Self. 

Namaste everyone!

How do you embrace January?  What events and life circumstances have been presented that you need to examine; to experience; to go within and contemplate… and to feel BLESSED by?

What situations have you been ‘challenged’ by this month?  It’s not too late to reflect on the notion of BLESSINGS and the idea of looking for the hidden BLESSINGS in each life event.  Can you see the BLESSINGS of what is? of what will be?

If we can wait ever so patiently for what we contemplate, to provide meaning for us… for life’s answers to reveal themselves with perfect presence, giving us the tools and information that we truly need, then we will always see the perfection in everything.

How do you find the BLESSINGS in what you judge to be ‘sad’, ‘unjust’, or ‘deeply painful’?
This month in particular, we are reminded we have extra blessings around. Perhaps, you too have recently experienced some challenges, or maybe you are currently asking for extra help. Either way, trust that you are surrounded now with more Divine LOVE than ever.

This month’s message of BLESSINGS is to hopefully remind you that you are not alone. It is only our fear that makes us forget (and ignore) the presence of divine support that exists for us. Ask that your fears and (perceived) challenges be lifted away …and then …let them go.

Feel truly BLESSED and very loved; knowing that you are.

Namaste everyone!

Blessings are DIVINE GIFTS. They are what remind us of the remarkable way we exist in the world and for one another.

What are some of the blessings of divine spirit that you have been ‘gifted’ with this past year? What blessings might you take for granted that you could acknowledge now with gratitude?

When we easily recognize life’s blessings… appreciating the simplest gifts of the universe that we might otherwise overlook, we open ourselves to receiving more. As the nature of the Universal Law of Attraction suggests, “that which you give attention to increases”. The more you look to the many blessings of life which you already receive and hold, the more that will continue to come to you.

On the eve of a brand new year, it is perhaps most fitting to reflect (even record) what have been some of your most profound blessings. (Profound blessings are not simply grand gifts in size or monetary value; rather they are blessings of life which have significance; or a profound meaning attached to them). Often it is in the simplest of things: sharing of laughter between loved ones, knowing glances of unconditional love felt between two people, feeling lightness coursing through your body as you feel the joy that comes from your unsolicited gift of kindness to someone. These daily blessings are what fill us with much love, joy, and inspiration.

Begin to record the daily blessings you receive and notice with gratitude how perfect and special each one is. Honour life by appreciating all of what you are given, what you receive, and what you already have.

Blessings to you for a very special and magical NEW year of LIFE, and may you always receive all of the very BEST! Namaste!